I cannot believe how much my child eats….and no matter how much I give him, he almost always wants more. He has six teeth and is able to feed himself finger foods pretty well. His favorites are sticks of bananas and cooked yams and thin slices of cheddar cheese. Today I gave him little blobs of homemade hummus on his tray. I also give him strips of homemade waffles and homemade graham crackers (softer and thicker than store-bought graham crackers). I am glad he is enjoying food and gaining weight.
I, on the other hand, need to go the opposite direction on the scale. Recently I found Blest With Sons’ ten-month pictorial weight-loss chronicle. She lost 78 pounds! I am so impressed…and inspired. I try to eat pretty healthy, but I know I could do better, and my only official exercise is a daily walk. For the first few months after Baby Boy was born, I steadily dropped some pounds, but I’ve totally plateaued for the past, oh, five months at a number much higher than I wish it were. Maybe someday I’ll get brave enough to post my actual weight here for accountability, when I finally decide to get serious and lose thirty pounds. I still haven’t figured out why I gained over sixty pounds when I was pregnant. Waaaaah. My body will never be the same again. Okay, I’m pulling myself together now. 🙂
My main reason for delaying getting serious about losing weight is that I am still breastfeeding, and I’m worried that my milk will dry up if I exercise a lot and change my eating habits. But I really want to get down to a reasonable weight before getting pregnant again (and gain not more than thirty pounds during pregnancy next time around). So now I’m torn between wanting to nurse my baby as long as he wants and needs (I’ve always thought I would breastfeed for at least eighteen months) and losing weight. I am pretty sure (at least I’m hoping) that my body is “holding on” to five or ten pounds while I am lactating. I’ve talked to lots of women who say that was the case for them. So maybe when I stop breastfeeding, at least a few pounds will come off relatively effortlessly.
My husband is so sweet; I truly believe that he thinks I am beautiful no matter what I look like, but I need to lose weight for me. I want to be healthier and have more energy; I want to feel pretty and not frumpy. I want clothes to fit me again.
But to be completely transparent, I’m afraid to start trying to lose weight in case it doesn’t “work,” and then I’d be so disappointed.