Now that my figure is starting to change, I’m starting to really believe that I am pregnant (as if three positive pregnancy tests and morning sickness weren’t enough…). I am wearing some maternity clothes now, more because they’re the only clothes I own that are appropriate for fall than because I really need them too badly yet. I recently bought three nice pairs of maternity pants in black, brown, and khaki, so those have become a wardrobe staple. (I like wearing dresses and skirts in spring and summer, but I prefer pants for fall and winter because I’m rather cold-blooded, and it can get pretty cold where I live).
I’m almost to the point where I can’t (or at least won’t bother) sucking in my stomach anymore. My belly is getting firmer. I have felt a few flutters that may or may not have been kicks, but I couldn’t tell for sure. I felt movement with my first pregnancy at fourteen weeks.
We are still looking into birth options. I would love to have a homebirth, but I really can’t in the apartment we’re in now, because we’re too close to our neighbors, and these apartments are not soundproof by any means. And I may have made a teensy-tiny bit of noise last time I was in labor…. Our lease is up in December, so there’s a slight possibility we might move then (ay yay yay, I don’t even want to think about moving at this point!) if we could find a house with affordable rent, but it’s more likely that we will use a freestanding birth center like we did for 1-year-old’s birth. I had a pretty good experience, and the tub with jets was very helpful during labor, but I would settle for one of these if I could have a homebirth.
I’m trying not to obsess about how much I gain this pregnancy. I certainly gained more than I wanted to with the last one, so I want to be extra careful to eat right and get at least a little exercise every day, but mostly, I want to keep the perspective that something wonderful and miraculous is happening inside my womb, and there is no way my body is ever going to be exactly the way it was before I started having babies (and I hope to have many more). I know there are a few women who, three days after giving birth, are back to their pre-pregnancy shape, but that’s not most women, and that’s not me. I want to eat healthfully and be a good steward of the body God has given me, but I don’t want to get over-focused on myself and the way I look. Having babies is a sacrifice in many ways, including physically, but there are so many rewards.
For instance, today I had the joy of watching 1-year-old take hold of the handle of his walker wagon and push it all the way across the room! His clumsy, fast little steps were so cute, and he had the biggest smile on his face. I also love crawling down the hall after him on my hands and knees, or letting him chase me. He always laughs uproariously! I could go on and on…there are so many things I love about my precious baby. Thank You, Lord, for Your good gifts.